After a week of him being a recluse and hiding from all of our issues (started with a small fuckup on his part) I have just broken up with Tim/Mezz/Pie fucker in the following fashion:
Through his mother.
She answered, went downstairs to get him on the phone, yelled at him to wake up, threw the phone at him, he still refused to answer, she yelled some more and came back to the phone saying sorry, he won't get up, he's sound asleep. I said, we're breaking up. She says she knows, and doesn't blame me at all. I agree, ask her to tell him it's over, she says no problem. I explain I hate to put her in that position but i won't drive out there to just drive right back home crying. she says no problem, I don't blame you at all, he runs and hides. It's what he does. I said I don't have to take it. She totally agrees. I thank her, and tell her good luck with him. She says she'll need it. Bye.
...what a special day.